Light of Love

One of my favorite memories of her is a light in the shadows of the darkest season of my life.  

For two weeks while she battled cancer, my mom was in a coma.  We still don’t know why, but her first chemo treatment sent her into a slumber that left us worrying she would never wake again.

The second week of the coma, I have written in my journal that when we would tell her that we loved her, still deep in sleep, somehow, she would mumble, “I love you too.”  Those mumbled words gave us hope as desperate prayers spilled from our weary hearts. 

On October 22, 2013, we were given the gift of another day with my mama, awake and more herself than she had been in months.  It is one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received and one of the happiest moments of my life.

“She was open-eyed and alert, talking to us all day.  She even wanted to sing her favorite hymns.  She was forgetting words and mumbling it out, but it was SO beautiful.  She made us laugh and kept saying how good God is.  The doctors are still worried she could sleep again and that the lymphoma may spread.  After last night, I was so exhausted and just sad.  I asked God to give us grace, mercy, to bring hope.  It was the dark before the dawn of a morning that brought so much joy.  I am so thankful.  I love Mom.  She was such an amazing picture of a godly woman, saying how God is good and praising Him and praying.  She is beauty.  I love her so much.  Thank you, Jesus!” (journal entry from 10/22/13)

In the midst of her darkest night, her light shone brighter than ever, her love for Jesus and her family never faltered.  This is the Mama I remember, the woman I am grateful for.

Mothers, you sow seeds into an eternal legacy.  You give those around you a glimpse of God’s mother heart, His fierce and life-giving love for His children that never falters.

The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was that she modeled what it was to love God with her whole heart and lived as though her children were gifts from the Father, entrusted to her to raise up in His love but in the end, to entrust back to Him.

So thank you, Mama, for loving me with a love beyond yourself and letting His love light your countenance even in your darkest days.
Because of you, I was guided to the light of His love, and I’ll never be the same.

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